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What Is Stopping You from Getting Results

SUMMARY

Have you been trying to get certain results in your life and you never seem to get there?

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Master Coach Trainer, and this week, I want to continue our journey and our conversation around the art for planning methods so that you can get more out of the second half of the year than you did out of the first by helping you identify the roadblocks that are stopping you from getting there.

Last week, you got really clear on where you are now using your big voice. You identified your current results, and therefore, you now know that gap between where you are now and where you want to go that gave you a lot of clarity and confidence.

This week, let's dive deep into everything that has been and can continue to stop you from getting to where you want to go. Let's identify what you are doing to sabotage your own results.

Number one is to suspend all judgment.

Number two is to engage the logical brain.

Number three is to own the process.

Well, that's it for me for another week. By going through this process, you now have identified the things that are either currently or could be you stopping from going from where you are now to where you want to go. Next week, we're going to go into the actual process of removing those roadblocks. "What is it that I need to do, Grant, to get these things out of my life so that I can finally have those results that I want?" Make sure that you subscribe, you hit the notification bell, and you are here with me again next week as I take you through the next part of the process, where we add the resources to remove those roadblocks and clear the path so that you can have more out of the second part of this year than you've had for many years before this. I see you then.

TRANSCRIPT

Have you been trying to get certain results in your life and you never seem to get there?

Well, stick with me in this episode, because what I'm going to do is help you identify the things that you are doing and not doing that are getting in your way and are actually stopping you from getting the results that you want right now. Once you know this, you can set it in your plan and you can finally get there.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Master Coach Trainer, and this week, I want to continue our journey and our conversation around the art for planning methods so that you can get more out of the second half of the year than you did out of the first by helping you identify the roadblocks that are stopping you from getting there.

Last week, you got really clear on where you are now using your big voice. You identified your current results, and therefore, you now know that gap between where you are now and where you want to go that gave you a lot of clarity and confidence.

This week, let's dive deep into everything that has been and can continue to stop you from getting to where you want to go. Let's identify what you are doing to sabotage your own results.

I remember a testimonial that I received from a very early client many years ago, and it stuck with me because what he said was, "Grant helped me to get out of my own way." My experience now from working with thousands of clients since then is that this is the biggest area for every one of us. Yes, there are external things that could stop us from where we're going, but the ones that really have a hold on us and the ones that we can control are the ones that we are actually laying down in front of us. There are many reasons why we're doing this, and I want to take you through a process today that's going to allow you to identify them, call them out for what they are so that next week, we get into actually overcoming those roadblocks. These are the beliefs, the thoughts, the doubts, the behaviours that you've conditioned yourself to put down, to lay out in front of you to actually keep you safe from something. Well, it's time to call them out. Once again, there are three key principles to consider as we go through this part of the R4 Plan.

Number one is to suspend all judgment. As human beings, what we tend to do is 'should' all over ourselves. We judge ourselves harshly. We say, "You should have done that and you should have done that better." We use this as a strategy sometimes to keep us small and to stop us from doing things outside our comfort zone. To ensure that this process of working out your current reality actually empowers you rather than holds you back, what I want you to do is to get rid of all that judgment. This isn't a process where you are looking for more evidence that you are not able to do things. All we're doing here is looking at it from a logical perspective so that we end up with a list of things identified that we can work on.

So to do this, we need to bring together some of the things we've talked about over the last few weeks, we need to, firstly, be able to keep that mini-me voice in check, acknowledge it, and help it to learn new things. We need to make sure, like we talked about last week, that we do this with a future-focused reflection. So, we're looking at ourselves, not to judge. We're looking at ourselves to identify and empower. So, the first thing to do is to be kind to yourself, control that inner dialogue, and take a look at what it is that you are doing just to identify it so that we can do something about it.

Number two, I've talked about before, engage the logical brain. Allow the process of the brain to identify these things as if we're doing an audit. So, a little bit of 'Brain 101' behind that, and certainly it's not the whole gamut of neural science. So if you are watching this and you're a neuroscientist, then please, I'm just giving a little bit of an overview here of what I find works for me. So, we've got our emotional processes in our brain, and then we've got our logical processes. What we want to do is make sure that the prefrontal cortex actually gets to make decisions as we go through this process that is purely logical. We want to stay focused and look at the end result rather than spiral down into the emotion of it. To do this, I find using 'what' and 'how' language is an extremely beneficial process as we do this. By asking 'what', we're seeking data. By asking 'how', we're getting some clarity on that data.

However, if we ask ourselves 'why', then as you can even see in my exaggerated emotion there, I'm thinking there's something that I need to get to the bottom of here. And that's not what we're doing. We don't want to look at it in an emotional way because that's where these memories that we have in the hippocampus, the amygdala triggers, will bring us into a state where all that logical thinking will stop. And we'll go down into the emotion into the 'woe is me' and we'll have a pity party and we'll stay where we are. So remember, this crisis is about logically doing an audit to identify what it is that I'm thinking, saying, doing or not doing that's within my control that's stopping me from going where I want to go. Now, to do this, you may need some help. If you have a coach, they'll be able to help you to navigate that process and keep you up in the logical brain. They'll be able to ask you powerful questions to help you to do that. So if you are looking for some support in that area, reach out, and we can help you to get yourself a coach to help you to do that. If you are very skilled in being able to keep yourself up in the logical brain, then this is something that you will be able to do easily and effortlessly. However you do it, just stick to the logic. Write it down on a list as a fact-finding exercise.

And number three is to own the process. This process that we're going through is designed to help you, not to harm. This process, even though your mini-me might dispute this, is a powerful process that is a benefit to you. So, the third thing that I really want you to consider it here is that it's time for you to take charge. It's time for you to take back control of your results. It's time for you to go, "The reason I'm doing this is to allow me to have the things that I want to have. The reason I'm doing this in the way that I'm doing it is I am in control." To help people to do this, that's the reason why I talk about Personal Power being of the 26 competencies that I work on in Social and Emotional Intelligence, the number one that underpins every other competency. That self-worth, that inner knowing, that self-confidence, it says, "I have everything within me and around me to get ahead in life." So, own this process. Commit to the process for you and for those who you might be building the next stage of your journey for as well. When you own the process, you take responsibility for what it is that you could do differently. You also take responsibility and control of that inner dialogue. And you complete this process rather than it be something that you just get started and then you shrink back from because you allow those unhealthy thoughts and self-talk to control the process. You've got this and I'm here with you to help.

Well, that's it for me for another week. By going through this process, you now have identified the things that are either currently or could be you stopping from going from where you are now to where you want to go. Next week, we're going to go into the actual process of removing those roadblocks. "What is it that I need to do, Grant, to get these things out of my life so that I can finally have those results that I want?" Make sure that you subscribe, you hit the notification bell, and you are here with me again next week as I take you through the next part of the process, where we add the resources to remove those roadblocks and clear the path so that you can have more out of the second part of this year than you've had for many years before this. I see you then.

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