Shifting from Do to Through
SUMMARY
Do you find it difficult to get other people to do what you need them to do in your team? Do you tend to hold everything in because you just say things like: “It's easier if I just do it myself”?
Well, stick with me because this week, I want to show you how you can give yourself more energy and get more done.
I work with people all the time who tell me that they're busy, don't have time to do the things they need to do, and they're overwhelmed. Yet, those same people have a team, and they're not giving them things to do by delegating effectively.
The number one reason for this is a lack of trust.
We talked about when dealing with our professional leadership, which is about getting the results from our own efforts, our performance and productivity. But, as we work with other people and take them on the journey with us, we need a new set of skills to help us go from getting the results from doing things alone to getting our results through other people.
To do that, the first thing you need to do is work on those identity issues that are holding you back. Everything that I teach in leadership goes back to that foundation of who you believe you are, and who you believe you're not, and to those 3 universal fears of not being enough, not belonging, and not being liked or loved.
A leader who shifts from do to through have enough energy to be who they need to be in every area of their life. If this is a skill that you are yet to develop, I want to encourage you to start with that shift in your mindset.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation around people leadership by helping you to develop new leaders.
I'll see you then.
TRANSCRIPT
Do you find it difficult to get other people to do what you need them to do in your team? Do you tend to hold everything in because you just say things like: “It's easier if I just do it myself”?
Well, stick with me because this week, I want to show you how you can give yourself more energy and get more done.
Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation in this area of people leadership by helping you to shift from DO to THROUGH.
I work with people all the time who tell me that they're busy, don't have time to do the things they need to do, and they're overwhelmed. Yet, those same people have a team, and they're not giving them things to do by delegating effectively.
The number one reason for this is a lack of trust.
We talked about when dealing with our professional leadership, which is about getting the results from our own efforts, our performance and productivity. But, as we work with other people and take them on the journey with us, we need a new set of skills to help us go from getting the results from doing things alone to getting our results through other people.
To do that, the first thing you need to do is work on those identity issues that are holding you back. Everything that I teach in leadership goes back to that foundation of who you believe you are, and who you believe you're not, and to those 3 universal fears of not being enough, not belonging, and not being liked or loved.
And when, as a leader who is already really busy, the most logical thing you can do is simply go: “Hey, I'll get some other people to help me.”
However, when they're faced with that opportunity, they sometimes overlook it because they think: “Well, if I were to give this job to someone else and they didn't get it right, they're actually representing me. So other people are going to think things about me. If it's not good enough, they will blame me and look at that as more evidence that I can't rather than I can.”
When you think about such things, you may have a mindset that will hold you back from logically doing things that would help you and everyone, which is to trust others to do what they can to bring some progress to the to-do list that we're all working on together.
The first thing that you need to do, if you're someone who is finding it difficult to get things done, is to ask yourself: “Am I distributing the load out to other people and if I'm not, WHY?”
I use this filter in everything that I do, and it starts with: For what purpose am I doing this or would I do this?”
And then, “At what cost?”
So, for what purpose would you hold on to things that others could be doing?
And if that purpose is that you don't trust them to represent you well and therefore, you're in that approval addiction and performance trap where you're worried that other people are going to judge you on that, then you need to look at what's the cost.
Well, the cost is exhaustion, burnout, feeling overwhelmed all the time. And the other cost is that you're going to need to continue to do those things forever in a day because the biggest cost with a lack of delegation and trust in giving other people things to do that you used to do is nobody develops those skills.
If it’s just you then you become a bottleneck. And that is not good for you, for them, and it's certainly not good for the organisation.
So, the first thing to do is have a shift in mindset and look at the fact that:
- It's not about getting it perfect; it's about getting it done.
- It's actually not better for you to just do it yourself.
For example, if you have those times when you reconcile holding things in by going:
“Look, it’s going to take me longer to teach someone else how to do it.”
No. That's not the real reason you're doing it.
So, the first thing you need to do is to call those thoughts out for what they are.
They're negative beliefs that are holding you back, and they're creating a roadblock for you to be who you need to be. It's also a roadblock for others to become who they need to be. Then, what happens is you don't get enough done. The other challenge is that when you're not delegating to others, they also (because they have their own identity challenges) can make that mean something about them and about your relationship. They don't know the reason why you're doing it. So, they make it up for themselves, and they might normally interpret this as:
“They don't trust me.”
“They don't think I'm good enough to do it.”
“Why is it that they keep all this stuff to themselves instead of giving me an opportunity to learn that skill as well?”
So, they make it about themselves. And that—as we talked about last week—is one of the challenges that leads people to find another leader to work under.
They lead the organisation, and we've got that talent turnstile going on.
So you need to be able to shift your mindset from: “I do what I need to do to get results."
To: “I need to continue to do what I need to do and also give others an opportunity as well.”
Sometimes, people think that if they give that away to someone else, they are losing something.
When you have an identity that's based around what you do, that will be a problem. But, when you realise that what you're doing is empowering others, you are creating a culture of trust and collaboration. You're sharing the load and, that is going to mean that you are a leader who inspires others to follow you.
People don't just come to work to get paid. That's a misconception. It's certainly something that they require, and we're not going to stop paying people. However, it's not always the motivating factor.
People come to work for relationships and for growth so that they can contribute and feel good about what it is that they're putting in. By being a leader that doesn't delegate, you're stifling that.
So, what do you believe about yourself? What do you believe about trusting others to do what they could do to share the load?
Once you've worked on that, you can look at: “How do I delegate?"
So, remove that roadblock, then it's a simple process of you training and developing others to do what you do as well.
You can do that by first showing and teaching them how to do it. Then, the next time they do it, you can do it with them, with them doing it and you being there to support. Then, the third time, you can just give it to them. Using feedback, you can help and encourage them to do it differently if required moving forward.
A leader who shifts from do to through have enough energy to be who they need to be in every area of their life. If this is a skill that you are yet to develop, I want to encourage you to start with that shift in your mindset.
Well, that's it from me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue this conversation around people leadership by helping you to develop new leaders.
I'll see you then.
