Leading with Influence

SUMMARY

Power is something you have, while influence is something you do.

Many people have realised over their career that it's not about telling, it's about showing.

This week, I will unpack some key elements that I think you need to look at to become a more influential leader.

TRANSCRIPT

Do you find as a leader that, to get things done, you tend to use your authority in your position to be able to tell people what you want them to do?

That's certainly where I was throughout my military and corporate career and it never seemed to get the result I needed from working with people.

If that's you, stick with me because this week, I want to help you look at it a different way and do things in a way that people end up wanting to do what you want them to do.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach. And today, I want to continue our conversation around relationship management competencies by helping you to lead with influence.

Influence is totally different to power.

Power is something you have, while influence is something you do.

Many people have realised over their career that it's not about telling, it's about showing.

I certainly learned that late in my career.

People want you to demonstrate what you want them to do. They want to feel like they're a part of it, and that's what influence is all about.

There's a great book that I've read by Robert Cialdini called “The Power of Influence”, and he steps through these six facets of influence that really help you to lead people in a way where they want to go along with the journey with you.

Just like everything else, he wrote that book in a positive way to help people to eliminate conflict and stress, and all the challenges that come with leadership. However, you could use those same six principles to manipulate, and that's not what we're talking about here.

A leader is someone who wants to help you get where you are going so that, collectively, you all end up where you need to end up. It’s not about telling them and having that power over them; it's about sharing a collective goal that you're all working on together.

Collaboration is one of the key elements of teamwork, and for you to lead a collaborative team, you'd need to use this thing called influence.

So, what I want to do today is just unpack some key elements that I think you need to look at to become a more influential leader. And although you still hold the power, you don't need to use it. Using that stick of power is very much old-school. It's back from the industrial age when there was a manager who lorded over everybody and knew everything about everything while nobody knew anything except what they were told to do.

In this volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world that we live in right now, that doesn't work. In fact, it didn't work all that well back then. So, you want to make sure that you are the type of leader that people want to follow, where they get up in the morning and go to work happy and ready to serve — using the skills and the gifts and the talents that they've got — a leader that cares about them.

So, let's consider five key ideas around this area of influence.

Number one is communication.

We talked about this a couple of weeks ago: Communication is one of the most powerful tools that a leader needs to master.

We're talking about the fact that communication is more than one way: It’s not about telling; it’s a collection of listening, telling, receiving, encoding and decoding.

(If you didn't get to listen to or watch that episode, go back and find the episode on communication.)

Communication is a process, and people need to be communicated with in a way that is the way they learn. It's not a matter of just communicating the way you need to be communicated to. You need to give people what they need so, in turn, they can give you what you want.

Communication is a vital area for every leader. Unfortunately, one of the big challenges in organisations is that people think communication has taken place, and they go: “Okay, I've told them something; I can go away now, and that'll get done.”

No. Communication is far deeper than that.

An influential leader must be able to communicate clearly, concisely and with credibility.

But communication is not enough.

The second thing that we need is consultation.

We're in this together. This isn't about the leader needing to dictate everything. This is getting consultation and buy-in from other people:

Asking them questions.

Getting their input.

Does it mean that everything that they say needs to be done?

No. It means that everybody's involved and therefore, they are driving themselves not needing you to do that.

Listening to people tells them that they're valued.

Considering that they may even have some input, which is valuable, is something that a lot of people don't get working under the leader they're working under.

So, you need to make sure that you are asking others for their input regularly.

Ask them what they feel, think, and hear in what you are saying. Getting a deeper understanding of the individuals and the collective within your team.

Number three is compassion.

A compassionate leader cares about their people. They seek to understand rather than just want to be understood. A compassionate leader has empathy and sees things through the lens of those they lead.

If they don't understand, they ask questions; they’re curious. This compassionate leader is what people want to follow.

Number four is commitment.

Committed to yourself, to the cause, and to your people.

Staying true to what you say you're going to do.

Having that integrity that builds trust where people know that you can be relied upon.

Staying firm and persisting when times are tough.

Leading the process of pushing through.

Being able to be committed to what it is that each and every individual that you're leading needs from you.

And, the biggest thing is being committed to having a culture where it's okay to get things wrong, and It's okay for everyone not to know everything, to need to ask questions and to need to get some certainty so that this beautiful group of human beings that you work with can navigate where it is that you're going.

Being committed to them even when they get it wrong and being committed to what you said you would do is a key trust builder of an influential leader.

Number five is confidence.

A confident leader is influential.

Power is something that you have, but influence is something that you do.

When people see you doing the things that show them the way, they have confidence in you. When you do what you say you're going to do, that builds that confidence. When they're looking for answers, they have confidence that you will have the answer or you'll help them to find it.

They've got confidence that they're going to be listened to and they're going to be valued.

So, they have confidence in you and what they will receive from you.

And all these breeds confidence in themselves.

When the people that you lead are confident in their own abilities, the competence to do what it is that you all need to do to get where it is that you need to go goes to another level.

Influential leaders have power, but they don't need to use it. They instead:

Draw on that inner certainty, compassion and empathy.

Use their confidence.

Give credit where it's due.

Let people know when they make mistakes.

All these things that go against those internal uncertainties that you might have they’re the things that make people want to follow you.

Once again, just like every one of these relationship competencies, the foundation for building these is that personal power back in the self-awareness quadrant.

So, being able to remove those limiting thoughts, beliefs and behaviours to keep the behaviour under control and to navigate your emotions in a healthy way are the foundations of being an influential leader.

This is because these things that we've just talked about what we need to do so that we can influence; they need that vulnerability and ability for it to be okay to get it wrong.

Influential leaders are the type of leaders that people want to follow.

What about you? What could you do to become more influential within your team and organisation?

Consider which one of those areas you're going to work on first.

Just like with everything else, start a journey of incremental change where you look at one thing that you can shift in your mindset and behaviour to become the type of leader that people want to follow.

Well, that's it for me for another week. Join me again next week as we continue to build on these relationship management competencies so that you can be the type of leader who works well with others and gets them to go where they want to go without all that conflict and stress.

I'll see you then.