Developing Mutually Beneficial Relationships

SUMMARY

Attraction and retention of great people is the biggest challenge right now in the work that I'm doing all around the world.

I've been talking about developing yourself to lead in the age of AI, and there's a lot more uncertainty around how things are going now because of Artificial Intelligence. People are fearful that it's going to take their jobs and do the things that they are currently doing, and that creates more uncertainty. And, when there is uncertainty, people can behave in certain ways.

So, stick with me because this week, I want to help you understand the key to overcoming this challenge in attraction and retention.

You've heard it said before: People don't leave organisations; they leave leaders (or bosses).

I like to go deeper and say that people leave relationships, so I want to help you get a fresh perspective and understanding that this is crucial for you to go through this shift.

The shift we will talk about in this area is to go from CONFLICT TO COLLABORATION.

Collaboration is one of the 4 pillars that I believe underpin organisational success along with communication, how you handle conflict, and how you handle change. It’s the building of those strong relationships that will allow you to take your team wherever it is that you want to go.

Conflict is inevitable, and I believe that conflict in organisations is actually a good thing if it’s managed well. So, to be able to develop skills as a follower and as a leader and to be able to navigate through the challenges that you have with other people is vital.

When you develop your relationship skills, look at individuals within the team in the way that they need to be looked at, understand differences, celebrate them, and work with them- that's when you find these things out.

It's not about B2C or B2B; it's about H2H. It's about humans working with other humans — other imperfect humans who are on a journey just like you.

Well, that's it for me for another week.

Join me again next week as we look at the third element in this area of people leadership, and that is having a look at how you can get results through others.

I'll see you then.

TRANSCRIPT

Attraction and retention of great people is the biggest challenge right now in the work that I'm doing all around the world.

I've just come back from two weeks working in Singapore and New Zealand, speaking at conferences and working with clients, and it still seems to be the biggest challenge.

I've been talking about developing yourself to lead in the age of AI, and there's a lot more uncertainty around how things are going now because of Artificial Intelligence. People are fearful that it's going to take their jobs and do the things that they are currently doing, and that creates more uncertainty. And, when there is uncertainty, people can behave in certain ways.

So, stick with me because this week, I want to help you understand the key to overcoming this challenge in attraction and retention.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, VUCA Leadership and Sustainable Performance Coach, and today I want to continue our conversation in these 9 crucial shifts that every leader needs to take so that they can lead themselves and others well, by helping you to develop mutually beneficial relationships.

Over the previous weeks, we've been talking about personal leadership, which is about leading yourself. We've been talking about professional leadership, which is about leading yourself so that you get results from your own efforts. Last week, we started talking about our people leadership.

We talked about resilience and being able to do what you need to do and be who you need to be without burning out. That is one of the biggest challenges in the world right now. The number two challenge in the marketplaces that I work in is the attraction and retention of great people.

People are leaving and going somewhere else. A lot of times (in my experience), they don't stay there very long as well; they go somewhere else again. This talent turnstile in organisations costs billions and billions of dollars.

More importantly (in my opinion) is what it does to the individuals, both those who leave and those who are still there.

It creates a lot of uncertainty.

We have been talking about this volatile, uncertain, complex and ambiguous world that we are working in right now.

The more there are things to be uncertain about (i.e., “People are leaving. What's going on with the organisation that I'm working in?), the lower the productivity is. This is because people are not fully being who they could be to produce the results you want from them.

As I said earlier, a lot of people are concerned about this thing called Artificial Intelligence. By the way, Artificial Intelligence is not new. If you've ever used Google, then you've used Artificial Intelligence. However, Generative AI is something that is coming in, and people are using it and getting different results. However, if your mindset is that those AI tools are going to do what I do and take my job, that creates some challenges.

So, let me give you the antidote.

In my opinion and experience, it doesn't matter how many chat GPTs or other Artificial Intelligence tools come to support what humans are doing; the number one key is always going to be the relationship that you have with other people.

In our topic on identity, I talked about your relationship with yourself.

However, the relationships you have with others—whether that be the people you’re working with, the people you are leading, your clients, suppliers, vendors, the community, or your family—are always going to be the key to your success.

During my military and corporate careers, this was my biggest challenge because I had a mindset that said:

“People are out to get me.”

“No one likes me.”

"I'm not worthy.”

All these things that I was working with — the relationships I had — were not what they could be.

In fact, my relationships with my clients were amazing, but those people who I worked with didn't tend to have a great experience working with me. So, that’s why people leave.

You've heard it said before: People don't leave organisations; they leave leaders (or bosses).

I like to go deeper and say that people leave relationships, so I want to help you get a fresh perspective and understanding that this is crucial for you to go through this shift.

The shift we will talk about in this area is to go from CONFLICT TO COLLABORATION.

Collaboration is one of the 4 pillars that I believe underpin organisational success along with communication, how you handle conflict, and how you handle change. It’s the building of those strong relationships that will allow you to take your team wherever it is that you want to go.

Conflict is inevitable, and I believe that conflict in organisations is actually a good thing if it’s managed well. So, to be able to develop skills as a follower and as a leader and to be able to navigate through the challenges that you have with other people is vital.

Now, people ask me to come in and talk to them about dealing with difficult people. However, there's no such thing as a difficult person. There's just behaviour that’s not conducive to you getting along with each other, and that behaviour comes from miscommunication— a misunderstanding about the behavioural and communication preferences of the other person. It also comes from being self-centred, where you are only focused on what it is that you want, and you’re only looking through your own lens rather than using empathy and looking through the lens of the other person.

All these skills are critical.

Your social intelligence skills are vital to be developed so that you can have mutually beneficial relationships where you celebrate differences and where people can have an opinion that is different from yours without them or you being wrong, where having those vast arrays of perspectives and ideas is something that you embrace and use to build a strong community within your team.

Collaboration allows you to work together, side by side, hand in hand, shoulder to shoulder, towards the same goal, bringing in each individual's gifts and talents so that you get more done with less in this world that you’re working in right now.

It also allows people to have that support, encouragement, and structure around them. So when times are difficult, instead of leaving and running away to the next best thing, they stay, communicate, support, and get around each other.

The other thing I'm seeing right now is this hybrid workplace where people work from home — where they're not in the office — creates another set of challenges.

That idea of just giving people the flexibility they want is great for those people who work that way. There are other people who, by taking away the structure of: “I need to be in the office on this day or these days,” can be catastrophic.

Some people need the certainty that they have that they need to be there, and that organisation that came from the external is what they need.

When you develop your relationship skills, look at individuals within the team in the way that they need to be looked at, understand differences, celebrate them, and work with them- that's when you find these things out.

So, you need to go beyond that surface level of: “I work with you and this is what we do”, to go deeper and have an understanding of who you and your team are.

You also need to celebrate those differences and look at how your strengths are supported by their strengths and how, together, you become more than two. So, you’ve got that exponential impetus that pushes you forward to your goals.

Building relationships is vitally important.

Understanding that it's always going to be that human to human connection that is going to give you the most value.

It's not about AI.

AI is there to support what the humans do.

It's not about B2C or B2B; it's about H2H. It's about humans working with other humans — other imperfect humans who are on a journey just like you.

Well, that's it for me for another week.

Join me again next week as we look at the third element in this area of people leadership, and that is having a look at how you can get results through others.

I'll see you then.