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Deciding Your Destination

SUMMARY

Do you sometimes arrive someplace that you didn't plan to go to or do you take the time to carefully consider exactly where it is that you want to end up? Well, stick with me in this episode, because I want to show you how you can get super clear on where you want to be at the end of 2021 so that you can then plan purposefully to get there. Let's go.

So today, what we want to do is go deeper on the first element of the R4 methodand that's the results and get super clear on where it is that you want to go.

I like to control what I can control and allow the things that are outside my control to be outside my field of view, because they're just frustrating. What this process allows you to do is take control with purposeful intentionality and plan where you want to end up. To do this, I want to give you three elements that you need to consider as you go through this process so that the exercise, it actually gives you the result that's intended. Let's go through them.

The first consideration is that we need to have this process put together with our 'big you' (BIG VOICE).

The second element that we need to consider here, and the way that we need to move forward is to see it as if it's already happened.

The third element is we need to own it.

By going through this first part of the process, by getting super clear on where it is that you want to end up at the end of the year, by deciding your own destination, you have the first element of a very powerful four-part plan to make sure that you can get more out of the rest of this year than you did out of the first half.

Well, that's it for me for another week. Join me again next week, when we reverse engineer those results, and we take a look at where you are now and we reconcile your reality. I'll see you then.

FULL TRANSCRIPT

Do you sometimes arrive someplace that you didn't plan to go to or do you take the time to carefully consider exactly where it is that you want to end up? Well, stick with me in this episode, because I want to show you how you can get super clear on where you want to be at the end of 2021 so that you can then plan purposefully to get there. Let's go.

Hi, this is Grant Herbert, Emotional Intelligence Speaker and Trainer of the Year and Master Coach Trainer, and today, I want to continue our conversation about getting more out of the second half of 2021 than you did out of the first by going deeper on the elements that we talked about last week and helping you to decide your destination.

So by way of a recap, we looked at the fact that we can get more done in the second half of 2021, that we can achieve a totally different result than what we did out of the first part of the year, because some people are happy where they're at and others, not so happy.

By tweaking and adjusting some of the things that we think, say, and do, we can actually 10x at least our results in the second half of the year. So, we talked about a method that I use called the R4 Method. I remember talking about the fact that I'm a pretty simple person. And for me, if all the words start with the same letter, then it's easy for me to remember. So, we talked about looking at where we want to go, and that is our results. We then talked about reverse engineering that and going, "Well, what's my current reality?" (we'll talk about that next week). Then we know what gaps to fill. The next thing we looked at was what are the roadblocks? What are those things that are getting in my way to stop me from going from where I am now to where I want to go?

We looked at the final thing in the equation, the final R, and that was resources. What do we need to add that is more knowledge, more skills, different behaviours, different mindsets, whatever it is that you need, that will allow you to overcome those and finally get from where you are now to where it is that you truly want to go? To do that, takes some changes in mindsets and behaviours. And if you haven't heard that episode, go back and have a listen.

So today, what we want to do is go deeper on the first element and that's the results and get super clear on where it is that you want to go. As I said to you last week, this isn't going to be me just talking to you. What I really encourage you to do is to roll up your sleeves and workshop this with me. Over the next few weeks, we're going to go through this in depth. And those who do actually follow the principles of what I'm about to teach you will get a much different result out of the second half of 2021. Now, when I'm going through this with you, I'm going through this with me as well, because the greatest model, program, strategy, whatever it is, is only of any value if we do something with it. So, thank you for coming along with me. It allows me to go through it again myself and make sure that I'm on track. So, let's do this together.

As we said, the first element of this R4 Method is results. So, we're taking a look at the end of the year and we're going, "Well, where do I actually want to arrive rather than just ending up at some destination that we may or may not be happy with?" I like to control what I can control and allow the things that are outside my control to be outside my field of view, because they're just frustrating. What this process allows you to do is take control with purposeful intentionality and plan where you want to end up. So to do this, I want to give you three elements that you need to consider as you go through this process so that the exercise, it actually gives you the result that's intended. Let's go through them and go a little bit deeper on each one.

The first consideration is that we need to have this process put together with our 'big you'. Now, I've talked about before over many times we've been together that we have what's called an internal dialogue and internal mini-me, as I like to call it. The small voice that keeps us safe from going outside our comfort zone, from doing things that we don't think we can do, and to achieve those things that we don't feel worthy of achieving. So before we start this process, this R4 Process and particularly looking at where we want to go, we need to make sure that we set ourselves up so that we are speaking with our big voice. If we neglect this part of the process, what can happen is as we look at where we want to be, that small internal voice can steal it from us before we put it in the process.

So, we decide this is where we want to be and very quickly, that inner voice can remind you, "Well, you're not going to get there. Look at what you did in the first half of the year. Look at what you did last year." And then you won't put it in your plan. And the easiest way not to fail is not to do anything. And that's a belief that that small voice can help us to have. How do we get this big voice to be the one that's leading the process so that when we have a thought about where we want to go, those false and limiting beliefs and self-doubts, that lack of whether or not we deserve it, doesn't come into the equation? Because we are confident in who we are and who we're becoming. We're confident that even though there are some roadblocks, we are capable, with some support, to overcome them.

When I talk about my mini-me and reprogramming the mini-me, I like to use the metaphor of my grandchildren. I've been doing this many years now. I have three amazing grandchildren and I've used each of those. And now we're using Louie, my youngest. He's an amazing young man that has a very strong will and is just so lovable. Now, just imagine if, while I'm doing this, having this conversation with you right now, Louie turned up in my studio and he said, "Grandpa! Grandpa!", and I just ignored him, and I kept talking to you. We all know what would happen because Louie's only 2 and Louie would go, "Why isn't grandpa talking to me?" And he would lift his voice up more, or he'd be hanging off my leg. He'd get my attention. Why? Because I've taught him from the moment that he could speak that all he needed to do was say my name and I would give him my undivided attention.

Friends, that's what you and I have done with our inner voice. With that small voice, we've taught it to speak up and to get our attention. Before we go into this process, what we need to do is make sure that we get that small voice in a position where they feel comfortable with us doing that. So coming back to my grandson, if I was to go, "Hey, Louie, come on up here.", introduce Louie to everybody and say, "Hey, Louie, just give me a couple of minutes and then you and I are going to get ice cream.", Louie hasn't had that pattern interrupted, so he's okay. Now, as I say every time, this is a metaphor. He's a little boy. And two minutes to him is different than two minutes to me, but you get what I'm talking about.

So in this first process of making sure that your 'big you' is leading, what you need to do is reassure your little voice that it's okay. You need to acknowledge when it does speak up and go, "What are you putting that down as a result for? We're not capable of doing that.", or, "That's not something that we deserve.", you can acknowledge that you have taught that to your small voice and go, "That's what we used to believe. Let's unlearn that and let's go together as we form a new belief." So, the first step is to get that big voice, that inner dialogue under control so that you can then put things down in your plan that you actually want, not just the things that you feel worthy of having or capable of achieving.

Now that we've done that and we're ready to go, the second element that we need to consider here, and the way that we need to move forward is to see it as if it's already happened. So to do this, what we need to do is we need to go to that date that it is that you've decided, as we said last week, for some people that could be a whole year away, it could be just the end of the year, whatever it is for you, and you need to see the results already happening. It's like an Olympic medalist who wins their race and gets a gold medal for their country, when they get up on the dias and they have that medal placed around their neck and they feel so proud, and the national anthem of their country is playing in the background, and the flag is rising behind them, and they lift another six or seven inches up because they feel the emotion of that achievement.

They visualised that moment when they were a small child getting up at 5:00 AM and having their parents drive them to the swimming pool so that they could swim laps when everyone else was still sleeping. It's what got them up out of bed because they saw it in their mind's eyes as if it had already happened. So, we can use that same process to condition our brain to move us towards something that already is. It instills belief and confidence in ourselves that we're going to get there. And what it does is that then gives us purposeful activity to move towards it. So to do this, we start with a statement of present tense and it goes like this. "It is..." And then we insert whatever the date is. "And...", and then we describe in the narrative in the present tense, the things that are on your list as if they already have taken place, as if you have taken yourself from this point right now as you are watching or listening on the podcast and you have put yourself in that moment. So, "It is the 31st of December, 2021 and I have...", and we put it in that narrative so that we can see it just like the gold medal presentation of the Olympic athlete. By seeing it, we have a visual picture of where it is that we're moving towards. So, that's the second consideration.

Number three is we need to own it. By owning it, it means we own the fact that we can achieve it, that we do deserve it. We own it, the commitment towards doing what it takes, becoming who it is that we need to become so that we can achieve the things that we want to achieve. Owning it means we go from being at effect and blaming external circumstances to going to cause where we look at the responsibility. And it looks at the fact that if it is to be, it's up to me, that I'm going to do what it takes to make that happen. Then, we have three elements that we want to consider when we are writing down our results. As I said, last week, what we're doing when we're writing down these results, we're looking at various elements in our life, in our practice, whatever it is that you've decided.

I personally have a plan for things that are outside my business and another one for things that are inside my business, and they are two separate plans. But whatever it is for you, we look at those elements. So for my practice, I look at things like my team, my time, and what programs I might be having, my revenue, those sorts of things. In my life plan, I look at the amount of energy that I have, the amount of time that I get to spend with my family, et cetera. So whatever it is for you there, the things that you want to make sure that going through those three things that I've just taken you through, we end up with on a piece of paper. We end up with them as being a part of our narrative that we can move towards.

By going through this first part of the process, by getting super clear on where it is that you want to end up at the end of the year, by deciding your own destination, you have the first element of a very powerful four-part plan to make sure that you can get more out of the rest of this year than you did out of the first half. Well, that's it for me for another week. Join me again next week, when we reverse engineer those results, and we take a look at where you are now and we reconcile your reality. I'll see you then.

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